Am I A ‘writer’ or a ‘Writer’?

I have been writing for years; for as long as I can remember. I wrote plays in middle school; short stories in high school; focused on creative writing in college. I have done freelance; written three full-length novels and a novella.

So, why can’t I call myself a ‘Writer’?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I list ‘Writer’ as  my occupation on my children’s school forms; but then I always look over my shoulder for someone to come and call me out as a fraud. Or when I make a new friend, I’ll whisper, almost under my breath, “I’m a writer,” and hope they don’t ask me too many questions.

The other day I met the mother of my son’s friend. She was a friendly, outgoing, pleasant lady. There was no reason I should’ve been self-conscious. But when she asked, “What do you do?”, I choked. I didn’t know what to say. So, I responded, much to my chagrin later on, “I’m an editor.”

Editor?

Me?

I only edit my own manuscripts. Sometimes I edit friends’ works-in-progress. But I’m not an editor. I’m a writer. To my defense, though it’s weak, I was knee-deep in the throws of editing Wren’s Fantasy.

This exchange really made me realize I am not yet confident enough to call myself a ‘Writer’, with a capitol ‘W’. I don’t own that title, despite the deep desire to identify myself as such.

I thought once my full-length novel, Wren’s Fantasy, was contracted and published, I’d be able to state, with confidence, that ‘I’m a Writer.’ But, alas, that was not to be. And I even lied about what I do.

What’s wrong here?

I guess I’d need years of therapy to find that elusive answer. But I’m suspicious that, on the brink of becoming what I’ve always dreamed of being – a Writer – I’m terrified of being called out as a fraud, maybe even afraid of success, maybe terrified that if someone knows I’m a writer, they will want to read my work. And, here’s the kicker, they may think it sucks.

But I am not a fraud. I do write. All the time. I have two published pieces of fiction and am editing another full-length novel.

So here and now, please let me state, with pride, conviction and breath-held, “I am a Writer.”

Cheers to all you other Writers out there! 🙂 Tracy

 

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About TracyHewittMeyer

I love to write...anything and everything...aross genres and back again.
This entry was posted in Author, Inspiration, Life, Personalities, Wren's Fantasy, Write In Style, Writer Personality, Writer Personality Types, Writing, Writing Process and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Am I A ‘writer’ or a ‘Writer’?

  1. Ms. Nine says:

    Why do people have to ask that? If I reveal that I’m a writer, I get the “ooh?” response followed by a raised eyebrow. What would they say if I told them I was a philosopher? Unemployed? Dancer?

    • I love the ‘raised eyebrow’! I especially get that when I say, “I’m a romance writer.” They say, “Like, Harlequin? Seriously?” and chuckle. I just roll my eyes and talk to someone else. Best of luck in your endeavors! 🙂

  2. Way to put it out there. Never forget it either, be proud of everything you’ve done so far. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m not published yet. Hell, I’m not even finished the first draft of my first manuscript, but still…I am a Writer. This is what I was born to do. The love of words, the love of story, the love of great characters. It is something I have carried for so many years it’s about time I unload some of that extra weight and pass the torch. I hope to inspire generations of readers and, maybe…just maybe, I’ll also inspire another Writer.

  3. I think the shame or fear of announcing you are in a creative profession comes from people questioning you and, well, wondering why you aren’t a success. What they won’t understand is that the art of creation isn’t about success – unless that’s your goal – but it is, I assume for many, a cathartic release.

    Next time someone asks you tell them you are a “Creator.” With a capital C.

    • Excellent suggestion! I like ‘Creator’. You’re right about people’s questions. Most people are so incredibly supportive but there are a few I encounter where I just start rambling, make excuses and look away from their pointed stares. I’m getting better at that, though. Hope all is well with you! Thanks for your post.

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