This morning, I stood in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around my body, hair falling in strings out of a ponytail, and I said to myself, “Be someone else. Just be someone else.” What I meant was, Be someone else, if just for a little while.
I’m not a costume designer who can insert myself into different characters. I am not a cross-dresser. I am not confused about who I am. The problem is, I don’t always want to be who I am.
Who am I, then?
- I am steadfastly planted in the introvert category, leaving a trail of embarrassing and humiliating actions in my wake-all shaped and molded by the intense desire to be alone and the intense discomfort that comes with being social.
- I have little self-control when it comes to anything (exercise, losing weight, writing and not watching The Tudors even though I’ve seen every episode 15 times).
- My attitude can border on the snippy and sarcastic. If I’m not on what I call My A Game then what comes out of my mouth can have a bite worse than a pitbull’s.
- I want to be helpful to others, easy going, and friendly, but I am quite often not. This goes back to being an introvert and the need for calm, peace and, most importantly, quiet.
So, this morning, I told myself to be someone else. I have a lot to do and being me is not necessarily going to get it done.
What does it mean when I tell myself to Be someone else? It means to pretend to be the person that I envy-the mother who is calm and relaxed with her children; the writer who is creative, efficient and dedicated; the wife who doesn’t resent it when her husband works from home, interfering with the few precious moments when the house is completely quiet.
I know who I am and I don’t think there is anything wrong with me the way that I am. But sometimes I need to be someone else. So I pretend. It may sound strange but putting on an acting hat can be easier (and more effective) than trying to dig deep and change myself.
In the end, little pieces of me are changed for the better anyway. But to get to that point, I pretend to be someone else. It’s just easier and another fault? I’m lazy.
So right now, it’s not introverted, shy, wildly emotional Tracy writing this post. Rather, it’s confident, extroverted, bring everyone along for the ride Tracy. I hope I fooled ya! 🙂
Who do you pretend to be?