I don’t know about you but I have often felt left out, passed over, ignored. I’m not the one who gets the big birthday party thrown in my honor, or the one who has a gaggle of friends to go out with on New Year’s Eve. I’m not the one who had a bachelorette party before my wedding.
Being an introvert, I have cultivated a quiet life, rich with reading, periods of time alone, and quietness. This is the type of life I am drawn to, that makes me comfortable, happy and sane.
But, if I’m honest, I have often felt left out of the fun; a sort-of bystander as life meanders right on by me. I’ve felt this way throughout my life-as a child and even as an adult. Following my introvert instincts and needs has put me in a position where I sometimes feel I am not actually living life but watching it pass me by.
Recently, I had a ‘big’ birthday. The exact number is irrelevant, though it is a birthday one traditionally celebrates with a big To-Do.
I did not have a big To-Do for this birthday. But I wanted one. I wanted a party. I yearned for a party. I wanted my life to be celebrated on a night of dancing, drinking, eating and socializing.
Wait, I’m an introvert, right? How could I want that?
Well, I did. For one night I wanted to be the Belle of the Ball. And even though I received beautiful birthday wishes via Facebook and text as well as phone calls and very nice presents from my husband, I felt like life had, once again, passed me by.
And I was sad.
I wanted that monumental celebration that I had seen so many friends and acquaintances have.
But, I can’t handle many social situations. I don’t like crowds. I like to go to bed early to read. I like quiet gatherings with small groups of good friends.
And my husband knows this. Thus, no party. Make no mistake, my life was celebrated-just in a quiet way. But for once in my life, I wanted the Big Bang. I wanted to wear a crown (how fun is that?) and play the extroverted party girl whose soiree everyone wanted to attend.
So what gives? How can I be confident in the introvert that I am while I often feel that life is passing me by?
I don’t have an answer to this question. Rather, I’m curious as to your experiences. Are you comfortable and confident in your introverted self or do you feel that you’re missing out on a life well lived?
*If you don’t want to comment publicly on this blog, feel free to private message me on my FB page or send me an email. I am always eager to share experiences.